Expecting a Miracle (Day 3)
Wednesday, January 11, 2023 (Day 3)
Well, last night proved to be yet another first. My first dose of the chemotherapy drug 'Cisplatin', plus my first experience of almost 'losing it' on the radiation table! Let's start with that. As I referenced throughout my ordeal, I have had a kind of pre-existing condition over the past few months. A CONSTANT POST-NASAL DRIP! As simple as it may sound, for me, it affects my swallowing and breathing all day and night. So, when I lay flat on the radiation table, my nasal passage immediately starts draining and I feel the need to spit (sorry, for the grossness). So, that's my first issue. On top of that, I get bolted into my fiberglass face mask that for treatment purposes has to be incredibly tight. And it's not just the tightness. It comes up on my throat and pushes up on my Adam's Apple, which initiates a kind of 'gag reflex' where I start to choke. Now, I can typically breathe during the process through my nose, but last night I couldn't. So, I had to try to position my chin ever so slightly so that I could breathe through my mouth a little. This all started to compound, and that's the claustrophobia kicked in. That's when I almost lost it! It took serious self-talk to come down off of that ledge, and thank God I did. Here's hoping that today's radiation session is a little easier!
Now, for my first chemo treatment...
Thank God, that went a lot smoother! They started me off with hydration and even added a bag of steroids before my body got introduced to Cisplatin. As one would expect, I didn't really feel anything as I sat reclined watching tv during this procedure. I then drove home to end my four and half hour day. Once home, Andrea had a special bone-broth soup with some noodles waiting for me. It hit the spot as they say and I got down two bowls (which, is nice!). We sat for a few episodes of 'Heartland'. Which, if you're looking for a really good, 'feel good' show to binge-watch, we highly recommend this one.
I headed to bed around 10:30, meditated, propped myself up on my wedge pillow (thanks to the aforementioned post-nasal drip), and drifted off to sleep. I woke up around 2:30am because I felt the need to hock up a huge loogie! I wished I took a picture of it. It was the kind of loogie that I couldn't get up for the past three months, so I viewed this as a blessing. The shit is working already!!
It took a while to fall back to sleep, but I did and wound up sleeping until 9:30am this morning. I felt 'queezy' when I got up and wasn't sure exactly what I'd be able to accomplish from my 'to-do' list. After a green tea, I forced myself to take my walk outside. This proved to be very helpful, as I listened to one of my favorite meditative videos while walking. When I came back inside, I had to sit for about twenty minutes. Then I knew that I had to eat! I made myself a very healthy avocado toast along with my protein shake. I knew that my brother Frankie is 'off' on Wednesdays so I had a Facetime with him. I gave Frankie all of the details, and as usual, he lifted my spirits exponentially. I don't know how I'd get through this without him.
Which leads me to right now. 2:55pm on Wednesday, January 11. I have to leave in an hour to go back for my 3rd radiation treatment, which will be followed by a hydration session.
Thank you for your continued support.
In Love, Light, and continued Oneness,