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  • Writer's pictureThat Oneness Guy

Why Do We Seek Validation?

Hello, my friends,

I'm hoping the start of Spring is filling your hearts with joy and optimism!

I was inspired earlier this morning by a text conversation with my sister Angela about a very important doctor's appointment I have tomorrow morning. It's actually with an ENT Specialist who will be reading the results of a PET-CT scan I had done last week. Since the scan was done my thoughts have become very preoccupied with what the results will be. I have worked very hard over the past seven months as my new life has taken such a drastic shift. If you'd like to see exactly what I have been doing, please visit the 'Oneness & Wellness' page on my website:

But with thanks to Angela who reminded me of the importance of my thoughts during my journey, I asked myself a very honest question:

"Why am I seeking validation?"

In Oneness, we know that the only control we have over any aspect of life is the thoughts that we choose to entertain. So, to that point, it is of no surprise that my throat started bothering me a lot this past week. Because I have been anticipating this upcoming 'reading of the scan' and filling my mind with 'what ifs?', it is no surprise that my condition seems to have worsened. I allowed the expectation and anticipation of words that I may or may not hear to get the best of me. Again, I asked myself, Why?

Validation: the action of checking or proving the validity or accuracy of something.

Why would I allow 'words' to affect me? I won't sit here and say that if the doctor says that I'm 'cancer free' I wouldn't jump for joy. Of course, I would, but that's not the point. The point is that I am allowing the acts or words of an outside source to have an immediate and in this case profound effect on my overall well-being. We seek validation because it makes us feel better (when it's good news only). But as I mentioned, Oneness teaches us not to depend, or rely on an outside source to validate any aspect of our lives. WE choose. WE decide. WE determine the direction and course our lives will take. To use me as an example again. I know the work that I've put in. I know that I've taken direct actions to not only stop the spread of cancer but to eliminate it from my body. Allowing myself to become anxious and worry over words that I may or may not hear have only weakened me.

Our ego seeks validation, not the spiritual essence that we are

Seeking validation is an act of the ego, the false self. The true self, the spiritual beings that we are, are confident and secure in all that we do and do not need validation. Is it nice to hear that 'you're doing a good job' every now and then? Sure it is, but it shouldn't be needed to define us.

That Oneness Guy

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