Hello, my friends in Oneness
It's been over a month since my last blog. Mainly due to the topic of today's entry as I have been struggling with pain management, which led to a brief hospital stay a few weeks ago. To get you up to speed, I have a tumor on my C5 Verterbrae that is putting pressure on a nerve causing severe pain in my left shoulder and neck. The hospital sent me home with an array of pain meds of which one is the opioid Hydromorphone, which goes by the brand name 'Dilaudid'. I am not a fan of Opioids to any extent. I know how strong they are, and I know what they can do. Most importantly I have a personal connection with what their addictive ingredients can do to an individual. I have lost a very dear cousin, and my very best friend to Opioids, so I try to avoid even the smallest dose at all costs.
But, what if it's prescribed as part of pain management?
Over the past few weeks since my discharge from the hospital, I've been 'experimenting' with everything they sent me home with, as I'm trying to find what's going to work for me. It's been difficult at best because I don't like to take drugs when I don't feel pain. But then there's the flip side of that, because when I feel the pain, it's too late, so I'm acting from a reactive instead of a proactive perspective. When I have taken the Opioid, it's been before I go to bed, and I take only the small dosage prescribed. There are even times when I cut the pill in half if I feel I don't need the full dosage. I even have a 'Supportive Care' team at MSK that's been helping me, but I found out that pain management is a full-time job, to say the least (those who know, know).
So, how can Oneness help me through this difficult stage?
I know that the answer to every question comes from within. I know that something as powerful and addictive as an Opioid drug can somehow be helpful and safe to me if I approach it from a Oneness perspective. First, I must change my perception of the drug. So far, each time I mentioned it, I referred to it as an addictive and powerful drug that can and has killed people. Although that is true, that automatically places the drug and its effectiveness within dark and negative confines and creates an image that doesn't serve me well. I need to remind myself that I am in control and that my body is already doing all that it can to help me heal. Whatever drug I consume to help alleviate the pain I'm experiencing, is through my own free will. I need to envision every pain med doing what it's supposed to do, and not think about potential negative side effects.
Oneness reminds me that I am not the pain, that it is my body that is experiencing the pain, and I am not my body. I am the spirit, the essence that is just temporarily inhabiting this body. In this fashion, I can remove myself from the pain and observe it. Now, trust me, I know how this sounds, and I know how difficult it is to absorb. But just the truth of it lessens its power on me and gives me more control. I know that I come from a source of abundant health and that health is my birthright. If I 'choose' to view the opioid from those dark and negative confines, that is totally on me. Instead, when I do take it, I know that it is only a tool that I am choosing to help my body alleviate the pain in the moment. I place my focus and intentions on the effectiveness of the drug, and I envision myself being free from pain shortly.
If you're in a similar situation, and find yourself needing a powerful drug such as an opioid, just remember that you can CHOOSE how you experience it. Don't see yourself becoming addicted to it. Envision the drug providing you with the temporary relief you need. Know that it will work along with your body to remove the pain until you are pain-free. Know that YOU'RE IN CONTROL (not the other way around). View it from a positive perspective and something that is needed at this current time of your life.
In this way, it's a cocktail that can work!
Danny 'That Oneness Guy'